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his painting of Suzanne Leenhoff (Mrs. Edward Manet)He kept scraping the paint from the canvas. After all those years of looking, he simply couldn't see her face clearly, and so he abandoned the work, leaving it in its present incomplete state. Yet what is is clear is the feeling, the almost cavernous passion his blear of stripped canvas catches, suspends for us, which is how my stippled memory holds, then blanks you. It is perhaps a consequence of love I can't hold all of you in one frame of remembering. Each memory scrapes another free so that all I feel undulates beneath an image of you which changes as if you, not memory, had consequences of color and light. Or perhaps he'd lost the love which could move his imagination to complete her, and could not find in he play of memory a face as true as the naked nubble his scalpel left three times. From MEMOIR (Chicory Blue Press, 1998) |
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