Look inside yourself for the answer. Adolescents usually figure out their sexual orientation after college or during high school, but they may at an earlier or later time in life as well. Experimentation is a natural process in our discovery of what's out there in the world. Past experiments with people of the same sex do not necessarily imply that you are gay.

COMING OUT OF THE "CLOSET" CAN BE SCARY

Coming out of the closet can really challenge your sense of self. There may be friends who you thought would be there, no matter what, who end up turning their backs on you. You may also be called harsh names, such as "dyke," (a derogatory term for a lesbian) which will hurt you and damage your image of self. Also, the thought of being alone in the world may surface. An example of this is Jenny, a young lesbian, who, by coming out, lost her friend. Jenny confessed, "I'm alone with my friends and my family." Even though she's with them, she still feels isolated. But if you look to people who will accept you, then you won't be alone. There is no ideal time for you to come out, if you are indeed a lesbian or bisexual. You should come out when you are comfortable with who you are, which means that you must learn to accept your desires, feelings and emotions. When you do decide to come out, you should confide in close friends or family members whom you can trust. If you have a close relationship with your parents, you should communicate with them to keep your relationship strong. However, before you come out, picture how your parents will react. Do your parents talk badly about gays, or consider them a disgrace? This applies to friends also. If this is the case, you may want to wait. But this does not mean that people will accept you right away, they will still need time. If your family is extremely religious, you may encounter friction with their values, but it is worth the struggle. Denial is very common among both teens and adults, but you should try to be true to yourself.

"BLUE MONDAYS" ARE COMMON

There are many teens who go through a time of depression, and as a result, many attempt suicide. A study was conducted in 1988, which stated that gay adolescents commit suicide at 2 or 3 times the rate of heterosexuals. It also stated that 40% of all homosexual adults attempted to end their lives when they were younger. The teens who survive the hard-ships of being gay sometimes feel bad about themselves because some people in society condemn them. Homosexual teens of color make up 27% of the suicide rate, while white homosexual teens make up 16% of the suicide rate. Dayton Daily News printed an article on a teen who was bothered by his sexuality, though outwardly his life seemed perfect. His parents stated, "Suicide haunted him for years when he found out that he was homosexual." On the other hand, not all gay teens are depressed. Many are actually content with their sexuality and enjoy life. It may take some time before you fully understand your feelings because you may feel alone in the world, as if they you are the only ones in the world with this problems. But you aren't!